• 7:24:00 AM, Monday, January 22, 2007
Why must everything come to this?
Why in the world must human relations before so hard to forge.
And communicating between humans so difficult and tense and heartbreaking?
Why can't anyone just try to think from MY point of view.
I'm the one being stuck in between.
And I can't choose.
Both are family.
Both are whom I love very close to my heart.
How am I to choose sides?
I'm merely trying to make the situation better.
Make it not so awkward.
If we don't tell you something, there must be something which deterred us to do so in the first place.
Ask yourself what that was.
There is always a reason why, to everything that happens.
So when you don't understand why, ask, and most importantly, listen.
Don't argue when people are criticizing you.
Haven't we always learnt to take criticisms in our stride?
As a way to further improve being ourselves? Our character?
Isn't growing up all about building up the character in the first place??
So set an example, and listen when others tell you your weaknesses.
I'm the one stuck in between.
You're telling me that it hurts when we don't tell you stuffs, or when she wrote certain letters, and the content is heart-wrenching to you. That it hurts deep inside you.
But has it ever occurred to you that what you say also hurts us in return?
You say it jokingly, as if we don't have to take it to heart.
But the thing is, there's a difference between saying it once or twice. And saying it a million times right in front of our faces.
We get your implication.
But however we try to reassure you, it's not working.
Cos deep inside, you have already gotten your fixed answer.
And there's definitely no way either of us could change it.
I'm not saying you're wrong.
Neither am I saying she's right.
I've said a million times, that I'm talking about opinion.
It all depends on how you look at things.
Yes, you say that I look from only her point of view.
But have you ever realized that, my point of view would be very much closer to hers than to yours cos of the generation gap?
Besides, I'm already trying very hard to see from your point of view.
But the thing is, the reason why I seem like I'm always on her side, is because I'm trying to show you HER point of view. And give her a chance.
And give yourself a chance to look at things both ways.
But what I'm emphasizing, is that.
You're not wrong.
Neither is she right.
What so difficult to understand about these 2 statements?
The way you say that I say you're wrong, hurts me.
Cos I'm not saying you're in the wrong.
But the way you said it makes me the guilty party.
I love you very much, and I don't wanna be the one to hurt you.
Thing is,
What I'm implying kinda hurts you cos you think I'm saying you're always wrong and she's always right.
But it shouldn't, cos I'm not saying you're wrong in the first place.
You say that you guys are sensitive people.
But that doesn't mean that we aren't.
We are normal human beings with feelings, just like you.
Has it ever even crossed your mind that what you say before have also hurt us in a sense, cos you make known to people, in front of us, that you feel that way?
That the situation you mentioned will definitely be what we'll all be in in the future?
You can't predict the future.
And I feel it's just the insecurities acting.
But that thing is, it doesn't make us feel any better.
Because by saying that, you're making us the future guilty parties, when we aren't yet.
You're just judging us at this point in time with no grounds whatsoever.
Something which may not even happen in the future.
We reassure you it won't, but of course, you never believe us.
I don't know what else I can say.
I wish that you could read this.
And understand what I'm trying to convey over.
Cos I really have no means to tell you.
Nothing seems to work.
Cos whenever the subject is brought up, it ends abruptly.
We never get to a conclusion.
And I really don't want you to feel that way.
I don't want you to be hurt and alone.
Cos the fact is that,
I love you.
And I would never deliberately hurt you.
But it never seems to come across that way, does it?
I don't know how else to communicate...
I really don't.
I'm just forever stuck in between.
Not knowing how to get around this whole knot.
♥ loved at : 7:24:00 AM
